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12:29am
November 20th,2004
  I don't write in here too much. It was gonna be my "thinky journal" but I don't have time to think let alone write about it. So mayhaps I shall change my regular LJ over to this layout and include some music and own it. I'll leave this journal though, so that I have it when I need to escape. *shrug* Later  
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Realizations   
11:38pm
August 13th,2004
 
mood: content
I love him. I couldn't do anything to hurt him, ever. I'm in love with him. I can't look at him and not smile and feel happiness bubbling up inside of me. There may have been times in the last year that I've had my doubts, but something clicked in the last couple of days, and when it clicked there were like, fireworks and beautiful music playing. And there was one kiss today that felt exactly like our first kiss did almost a year ago. And as I laid beside him, tracing over his features with my fingertips, I almost broke down into tears. His eyes are the most perfect shade of blue I've ever seen. They're like the water in the pictures you see from the Bahamas. And reflected in them and infused within them is every single ounce of his absolute love and trust for me. The biggest thing I realized, which lead to my stone cold utter realization of just how much I love him and am in love with him, is that I trust him. No one else has ever been able to get me on the coasters at DP, but I believed him when he said he wouldn't let me get hurt, and I trusted that he's make sure I was okay. He's always sweet to m, (okay, maybe not always, but no one is always anything). He is the most perfect man I've ever had the opportunity to be with. Even Mike fades to almost transparency beside him. Laying in his arms at night, I feel so safe, so protected, so loved. Those are strong emotions to feel and recieve. Also the most gratifying. I could live without him, but from here on out, I choose not to. It's been one year since we revealed our feelings for each other and almost one year since we acted on those feelings... Sometimes it feels like we've just begun and at others, I think I've known him forever and have always been privy to his sexy smiles and gorgeous eyes and amazing body. And the way he looks at me just before we're about to go to sleep and whispers "I love you". I don't understand myself sometimes, like the ways I've treated him over stupid happenings, or things I've imagined happened just to keep from feeling guilty. But now is the moment to change. These realizations just about knocked the wind out of me when they hit me so hard the other night. We talked a lot yesterday and then tonight on the ride home. I've never felt so close to anyone in my life, nor as loved, complete or trustful. I am, indeed, hopelessly in love with him.		  
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12:42pm
August 7th,2004
 

I SUCK AT MAKING JOURNALS LOOK PRETTY!



that is all		  
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12:42pm
August 7th,2004
  new journal


alalala


tehehehe

bababababa		  
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stargrantedwish
 
 

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